I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the power of words. Admittedly, I am a words guy. I love dictionaries and thesauruses. I even have an app on my phone that allows you to search for the origin and development of words . . . and I love it. Words are verbal symbols of meaning and have always been a critical aspect of communication in the human experience.
Unless they are written, words are always accompanied by tone, emphasis, inflection, etc. and nonverbal cues like posture, facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, and all sorts of things like that. In other words, quite a bit of information is being exchanged in any given interaction, even if the interaction is brief. While words have no intrinsic meaning in themselves (they only mean the meaning humans assign them), they are the vehicles that carry meaning, and as such, are extremely powerful.
This summer I’ve been taking my oldest son’s friend group through a study that’s preparing them for adolescence, and we recently talked about the power of words. I recalled when Nate was younger and I was teaching him to read and write I held up a pencil and asked him, “What is this?” He quickly answered, “A pencil.” To which I said, “It is a pencil. But more than that, it’s a tool. And it’s one of the most powerful tools in existence. Because with it, you shape words. And words shape the way people think. And the way that people think shapes the way they live. With it, you can change the world . . . or just one life at a time, which changes the world over time.”
Sadly, not everyone understands the power of words, and because of their lack of understanding they frequently cause significant damage through their careless words. This is the point I was making to Nate’s friends in our little Bible study: when you choose to open your mouth, you can either infuse life into someone or suck the life from them. More times than I can remember, I have literally seen people’s countenance completely change in front of my eyes and often bring them to tears through encouragement or a targeted affirmation or simply a thoughtful word or phrase spoken sincerely from one person to the next.
Conversely, words also have an immense power to destroy. Just as we can build people up with our words, we can also tear them down. Pointed criticism without love, a harsh word spoken in anger, quick and biting responses meant to tear people down or take a jab when you feel you’ve been wronged. The old phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is simply not true. In my experience of helping people process pains and wounds from their pasts, it almost always comes down to something that was said, or not said but should have been. As James wrote in his little letter:
The tongue is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire and is itself set on fire by hell. No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.
When you speak, you are not simply rattling off words. You are wielding an enormously powerful tool. In light of this, my simple encouragement to all of us is simply to think before we speak. Think about the weight your words will carry. Think about the effects your words will have on the person or people you’re speaking to. If you’re unsure what the effect will be, pause for a moment and ask Jesus. He will help you. For those who are used to speaking unfiltered either through habit or in the name of “brutal honesty,” I have found it helpful to journal or process your thoughts with a wise and trusted friend who can hold space with you and allow you to hone in on what you would like to communicate and how the Spirit would have you communicate it. Too many times we end up saying careless things, even unintended, but the effect is the same, and we leave those we love in the wake of our careless but destructive words.
A wise man measures his words, but fools speak unfiltered.
Do not be a fool. As Jesus said so long ago:
We will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word that we have spoken. By our words we will be acquitted, and by our words we will be condemned.
So be the type of person who uses these unique gifts God has given us, these verbal tools, with skill. Learn to use the awesome power of your tongue to push away the darkness and infuse everyone around you with life for the love of God. Each of us will give an account for how we harnessed our tongues. What will yours be?
CHALLENGE: Before the day is over find something encouraging about a loved one, then go tell them you admire, or are grateful for that part of them. Do it sincerely, and watch the life emerge. It’s beautiful.
